Growing Up.

Growing up, sucks. It really does. I stumbled apon my old blog and read some things just about 5 minutes ago. It was crazy to see the things going through my mind back then. But, at the same time I couldn't beleive I posted such horse shit.

But, some of it was pretty good. Some.

Maturity (and also I tend to jump around so bare with me), is commonly misunderstood. Physical maturity of course, is just as simple as growing chest hair, or a new mustache. But mental maturity is a completely different story. I used to beleive that maturity was handling situations like an adult and knowing more about life than the average kid my age. Basically being a big kid in a little kids body. But even adults can be immature. Maturity has been conveyed in ways that people who grow up living in hard to deal with situations easily missunderstand as being just that, the story of thier lives. Thinking that I'm more grown up becuase my dad beat me, or I'm more grown up because I lived knowing that my dad was a piece of shit father, or because I got in a terrible car accident and grew up being called wreckage face. But that's as far from it as you can get. Maturity, is just a word for "learning from your mistakes." And time after time I see it, I see people living for nothing, and failing and failing at their goals. I see the world as a cold and dark place where dreams don't come true for most becuase humans are all selfish and no one knows how to live anymore. Every excuse I hear is always exagerated and used as a crutch. Even LOVE, the most important and wonderful thing in people's lives once they find it in another, is the most selfish of all emotions, apart from greed.

The world is sad, and growing up is sad, but living life in such a pessimistic way is one of the worst crutches you could possibly lean on. You should live life, and love life. It sucks so fucking bad but fuck 'um all. Parents, teachers, friend, lovers; they all try to hold you back, becuase your parents more than anyone else know that being happy without being nieve is hard, and they fear that you will make the same mistakes they once did. We make our own luck, and we should do what makes us happy, and enjoy every minute of it.

Right now, I'm blogging on my page, my page that I haven't looked at in a year. And even though I've already been writing about some sad shit no one will ever read I am happy, and excited. Becuase GOD DAMMIT I love to write. And I'm finally doing it again. Love is all over the world, but so many people use it, for selfish purposes it's always being used. And that sucks, but I love music and writing and these past few months I've said fuck you to shit in my life that stinks so bad it would make you wish you had been born without a nose. I'm finally writing music, and playing guitar, and blogging about my fucking thoughts!

I dedicate this blog to the opening of doors, and the first step towards the end of your lives...and happieness too. To growing up, but never losing the kid inside of you, to old friends, and to overcoming fears. And finally, to fighting for love, and the collapse of this wall between us.

Also to blogging more.